This was the title of Shivani Gupta’s Instagram post which has captured everyone’s attention.

This video clip was uploaded by Shivani Gupta from Delhi NCR on Instagram where she asks a woman to apologize for the harrowing statements she made about her and her friends. This is what she wrote in her caption-

In the video, the woman’s opinion, in the end, disgusted everyone on social media and everyone started posting it to their stories. She said that the girls wear short dresses because they want the men to see them and that’s the reason they get raped. 

These were the few responses from Shivani’s friends which she posted on her Instagram stories.

Although, the post was deleted by Instagram stating that the post doesn’t follow the community guidelines. But the video is still available as it is re-posted by many users and the girls in the video want that the video gets viral until the lady apologizes to them.  

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The woman Soma Chakrabarty took a poll on Facebook and posted the following-

The mentality the woman holds is very disturbing but what is more gruesome is that she is not the only one. We regularly encounter incidents wherein girls are blamed for getting raped because they wear revealing clothes and move out late at night. In our country, a democracy which beholds equality and individual freedom as the core of its constitution how fair is it that a woman can’t even wear whatever she chooses to wear. She is an individual and has a full right over her body and dressing, but no one else has a right to harm her or comment on the basis of clothes she chooses to wear. Saying that women who wear short clothes should get raped is extremely wrong in every sense. What right does anyone possess over her body?!

The lady is pulling down women and is also justifying rape which is a crime. Rape is a crime and not a punishment. Not a single person, however wrong he/she is, not even a criminal deserves to get raped. And wearing clothes of one’s own choice is not even wrong or a crime.

She also says that the parents seeing this video should teach their girls how to talk and should control them. It is not the girls who need to be taught how to talk but the lady itself needs a lesson about what is right and wrong and what should be said in the public places. In a time where women are progressing, we ironically have such women who are trying to pull girls down.

Shivani Gupta also posted a picture of the woman from Facebook where she is wearing an above knee length dress which is completely fine. But what bothers me the most is the hypocrisy, why is she even commenting on the girl’s choice of clothing when she herself is quite comfortable with wearing similar clothes and posting the same on a public platform.

While discussing this video, I came across many opinions and this is what Monisha Singh Boparai, a 28 year old  acquaintance of mine believes.

She says that this incident is a reflection of society at large and it is scary to the core. No amount of awareness on social media platforms is helping infiltrate the potholes in the thinking of such sickening individuals. Having the audacity to comment on someone’s dressing and telling them that it is provocative enough to get you raped is absolutely disgusting.What if her son rapes someone and her defensive statement be like “but the girl was wearing “short short dress”. *slow claps*It was law that protected gay marriage (which is natural of course) and people then were okay with it, so do we need a law for dresses now.  Are we coming to this in the “21st century”?

She writes “On a side note words of wisdom to the “Aunty”

Dear Aunty,

Thank you for telling us how dark the world is. I only feel sorry for you. I can’t fathom the things you were deprived of, like good education, stable mental health, and manners. But don’t worry you will get there. Lose the stubbornness and be more courteous

Yours truly,

A girl who wears everything! “

A blog by Dhruvi Chhajer.

This video is a satire made on the serious issue of marital rape in the form of the American sit-com ‘how I met your mother’.

In the video, a newly married girl returns to her parent’s house and is distressed because of her husband. All the ladies from her maternal family tell her to open up as they are females and they will understand her problem. She opens up and asks them ‘just because I am a woman, is my ‘No’ not important ?’ This is where her uncle comes in between and offers her ‘pakodas’ and she says no. He backs off and says that I will not force you to have them and therefore your ‘no’ is important. Here ‘pakodas’ are compared to her consent making it such a small issue over which the girl is shown making such a fuss about. Then she blurts out that she is raped every day! All the women are shown to be shocked and men stand up in anger picking up anything which can be used as a weapon. The girl’s father is angered and asks her who raped his daughter. She tells them Arun, i.e., her husband rapes her every day. At this, the entire family starts laughing as if this was a joke and something which is completely insane and impossible. It is outrageous and unbearable if someone rapes their daughter but if that someone is her husband it is funny. They do not believe that anything like ” Marital Rape” exists and blames her to misidentify a friendly gesture as a ‘new age concept of rape’. Marital rape is not considered as anything wrong but just an act of “intense lovemaking”. The women tell her that it is not rape but love. Her mother tells her that this is what happens after marriage and it happens with everyone. Even though all of them face the same problem they all are trained to believe that it’s natural and it is the way it happens. Having sex without consent was common for her grandmother as well which shows that this is not a new issue but has existed in all generations before but questioned openly for the first time. She tells them that she is not able to bear this and her husband treats her worse than animals instead of supporting her they give her absurd solutions and ask her to compromise.

Then her husband Arun comes into the picture. He enters the house and is worshipped like a god by his in-laws. Instead of blaming him and making him understand they start sympathizing with him. They blame their daughter for being immature and troubling Arun. Then comes his emotional speech where he changes the entire game and plays the victim. He comes up with this bizarre comparison that even his wife doesn’t take his consent every time. He compares that even she didn’t take his consent while making ‘ baingan’. He says that he goes out and earn money and she only prepares breakfast, lunch, dinner, mops, and cleans. He undervalues the household work and says that he gets tired and so he makes intense love with her to remove his frustration. At this, the girl also starts blaming herself and is blinded by the truth the same way her aunts and mother are. She is manipulated to believe that his husband works hard while she sits and passes time at home and that he gets tired. She apologizes to him and calls him an ”angel”. Even she like others is blinded and is taught that this is love and nothing else. She is taught to compromise and keep her wishes and consent aside. Throughout the video, the only sane and understanding person shown is the adolescent girl who is disgusted and shocked by the way tables took a turn. She is shocked by the fact that how her family is so normal with something so serious and wrong and how they taught this to their daughter as well.

Marital rape is an open secret in India. Most of the women face this issue but our silenced because they believe that having sex with their husband with or without consent is their duty and very natural. Most of the men who indulge in sex without consent from their spouse do not think that it is something wrong. They think that after marrying a woman they have owned her and have a license to have sexual intercourse whenever they want. Because of this mentality, it is very difficult to legalize the law against marital rape because people believe that marriage is a sacred institution and passing such a law will question the sanctity of Indian culture.

In the link above some people of Delhi were questioned about their opinions and views about the same issue and the answers which we get to know are outrageous to hear. Some views reflect that it is okay to rape your wife, it is okay to use violence and force if she refuses to sleep with her husband, and all this is an act of “mardaangi” or according to me “toxic masculinity”. Although the video represents an unfair portrayal of what people of Delhi think about marital rape as it excludes the opinions of young couples and also women as only two of them were questioned. India still has a long way to win this battle because recognition of marital rape as a challenges Indian values which are deeply ingrained in the minds of the people. 

A blog post byDhruvi Chhajer.

Ethnic wear brand, Sabhyata, launched a campaign that shows the father daughter relationship in a new light. The advertisement starts with a father entering the house and sees his daughter and asks her whether she is going somewhere and the girl says no. He asks for a glass of water. At that time she says to him that her friends are calling her to meet up. His cold stare makes her freeze. And her brother comes from outside and says that he is going for a night out with his friends. His father didn’t say anything to him. Her mother comes from the kitchen and asks what happened, he says ask to your son about this. His father asks, “ what if our son goes out at night at harass a girl or he do something bad to anyone?”. And then he looks at his daughter with a smile and gives her permission to go out .

He asks his daughter to drop her brother at his friends house. The advertisement end with everyone smiling. In this ad they have shown how they treat gender equally. The intention behind the advertisement is to aware people about the gender equality. This campaign by Sabhyata group intends to reach out to people across all age and helps them to think in a positive way. Women should be respected, her existence, her grace and her freedom. We should take a step to redefine this connection between parents and their children.”

In this generation inequalities takes place in all fields. Gender inequality is defined as discrimination not in favor of women based on their sex. They are always considered to be weaker. Women are discriminated all over the world but more so in Indian society. It is caused in the Indian society due to patriarchy system. Indian constitution had made all efforts to eradicate gender inequality.
The society has made it as a norm that certain things should be only done by men and not women. Like men can go anywhere anytime as their wish, no one will ask them anything. At the same time women are not allowed to go out. They are tied up in many kind of rules. This has been followed up by years, it has been like a tradition. There are even many religious institutions where women are not allowed inside the premises.
CONCLUSION:
These type of gender discrimination should be eliminated from the society. This will only happen if people change their mentality.
These types of gender inequalities and discrimination will only change when the mentality of men will change. They should feel women as one amongst them and treat them equally.
In fact not only men but women also need to change their way of thinking as through cultural taming they have also become part of the same manipulative system of patriarchy and they play a supportive role in men’s agenda of dominating women. Everyone has their own rights. This ad is not only for the promotion of the ethnic brand, but also aware people about the gender equality.

Since 18^th century women are fighting for their equal rights and raising their voice towards inequality due to which we tend to forget about the other genders. Whenever the gender injustice happens in gender issues the central point is always given to women, because of which nowadays women are falsely accusing men. There might be instances where men have committed suicide because of false accusations of women towards dowry, molestation, domestic violence etc. Also in the Ted Talk of Deepika Bhardwaraj, she talks about gender equality is when both men and women have a voice. She talked about the young man Avadhesh Yadav whose marriage became the reason for his suicide. Along with his family he himself implicated in false dowry case, where his wife demanded a property of his father and also charged a case on his brother and father for molestation. After few days Avadhesh hanged himself. Hence, alike Avadhesh there are so many other men that are implicated in false accusations and found not guilty; due to which men looses their dignity, self respect, career, job, everything. There are laws which are made for the protection of women but it seems like women are misusing it. Hence, no steps are taken against them.

We say, “Men are not supposed to cry, Men are strong, macho” and because of which men are not able to express, and are not heard. If one men does something bad then we conclude that  ”All men are bad”, where we discriminate the gender. There are several laws, NGOs and helpline no.  where women can seek help for their physical, emotional, domestic, sexual  issues from which they suffer but man can’t. She also says that ,”There are laws for rape, sexual harassment, the act that insults the dignity of woman but these laws don’t consider men as a victims.” Also there is no helpline for men and they end calling up women’s helpline and they do not have any support for them. She also talked about her documentary film “Martyrs of Marriage” where the people are arrested under IPC 498A which has taken many lives.

Hence, while raising the voice for women we stopped hearing the men. While giving rights to women we took many rights from men too. It’s not about the men and women, it’s about who is wrong and who’s right. The justice should be for both men and women and the voice should be heard of both men and women.

Summary

Piku (motion se emoton) is a 2015 Indian comedy-drama film directed by Shoojit Sircar. The film stars are Deepika Padukon as a protagonist Piku who is Bengali architect in Delhi, alongside with Amitabh Bachchan as a Bhashkor Banerjee, 70 years old father having a chronic constipation and Irfan Khan as a Rana Choudhary, an owner of travelling agency. Piku tells a story about hypochondriac father and a willed strong daughter who is forced to endure an emotional roller coaster of a road trip with her father. A father is a health conscious and critical person, who constantly criticizes everyone for the shortcomings. Also, the problem of constipation was at the center throughout the movie. He as a father figure did not wanted his daughter to get married, was justified by his honest and brutal nature. Moreover, the movie highlighted the strong father-daughter relationship throughout.

Analysis

Here the importance is given to a father-daughter relationship in the movie. Piku is a strong independent headed feminist, with a good will and responsibility towards the father. In the movie, she is shown as a strong exasperate working women who tries to balance her professional and personal life. She very well understood the needs of older parents from their children and how calmly and smartly handled things on her side. Also, Amitabh Bachchan talks about how women should not be dependent on anyone by getting into a marriage and should live an independent life with her own choices, alike Piku. Moreover, in the movie we are also exploring the Bengali culture in Kolkata as well as the fast life in Delhi.

Hence, the plot construction is also superbly organized from beginning to end, having a stable consistent speed in story. While climax at the end having a peaceful death by having the best stomach clearance the day before.

Conclusion

It is a wonderful story where Deepika Padukon came up with a great protagonist for all the girls to walk on footsteps of Piku in order to take care and look after their parents in Indian context. Also, it is good to see how nowadays in film industries, the women are coming ahead as a lead role with the liberated stories, such as movies like Piku, Queen, English Vinglish, Tanu Weds Manu Returns etc.

“He pushes me on to the bed and jumps on me as if making love to him wasn’t an option but an obligation”

Simar Singh ( The legal Rapist)

What is Rape, really? Any sexual act done without the consent of any of the two parties. The word Rape carries with it a powerful negative punch.

The question that is most often raised is ‘What is Marital rape?’, ‘How can a husband rape his wife?’, ‘How such action can be defined as Rape if the couple is married?’. To explain it in simple way, Marital rape or Spousal rape means having Sex with your partner without their consent. But Rape is Rape, within any consent, so why is marraige a license to do it? Why is “she’s my wife” a defense? The answer lies in the patriarchal roots of Indian society. It sees women as economic religious and sexual property. For society, marraige is about ownership.

Marital rape involves Violence and lack of consent. It is very important to teach the meaning and importance of consent to people and when the consent is disregarded by the members of family it leads to the crimes of domestic and social violence.

Role of Judiciary :-

There are various countries that have criminalized marital rape but there are countries where it is not even considered as a crime. India is one of the 36 countries that haven’t criminalized marital rape. According to report 66% of married women in India experience physical and sexual violence by their partners and only 10% of the married victims of the sexual violence seek help.

Indian Constitution – ‘Section 375 of IPC treats marital rape as a crime only if the wife is below 15 years of age’

When a person in India, where marital rape is not a crime, does not consider it important to seek the consent of their spouse for sex, Does it make marraige a contract of sex? Indian law gives the men to have defense for the evil practice under the name of marraige.

If marital rape is criminalized in India, it would be a great step towards empowering the women of the country. There might be people who don’t support marital rape publicly due to fear of reputation, hatred or public image but they don’t publicaly oppose it either. It is lack of knowledge which makes people ignore the concept of consent.

Conclusion :-

Yes, marraige may be an important ceremony for many people but does that mean one must silently tolerate violence within the framework of relationship?

First, we need to make the people understand that Marital rape is a problem; a serious problem which is harmful for the citizens of the country. Women deserved to be treated equally, they deserve respect, trust, love and care from her partner. Marital rape breaks the trust and confidence in the whole idea of marraige. The society has to be educated and by Criminalizing the evil practice of Marital rape, the law will ensure that married women will not be subjected to violence or sexual assault.

‘Marital rape, He wants, “He do” She doesn’t want, but “She have to do”

Written by Fatema Bhaisaheb. Do share your Reviews.

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Source- Instagram post

India got Independence in 1947 but is this a real or reel Independence. We are living in a society where a girl can not walk freely after 8p.m , she can not wear what she like to because society wants them to follow certain norms, they can not allowed to hangout with their male friends. But the question is until when? Is being a girl a crime. We always told our daughters to avoid going out after 8p.m but why can’t we tell our sons to behave and respect girls. 

When it comes to marriage girls are forced to get married after she turned 23-24 years old and if she denied everyone think there is something wrong with a girl. Girls are even asked for their virginity but the question is WHY? 

Why only Men are cool?

If a boy slept with a girl then he is cool but if girl does the same then she is slut. If a boy wear boxers then he is cool but if a girl wear shorts then she is bitch. And if a boy wants to go for Nightout then he is cool and no need to ask for permission but if a girl wants to go for Nightout then she has to answer various questions such as why you want to do Nightout? Where are you going? With whom you are going? When did you come back? And so on…

Source- Instagram post

Here is a short story of a girl, who is forced to get marry.

Today her life was about to change.

Everything was sudden,so the boy and the girl couldn’t share anything with each other. The girl had a bad past, a boy cheated on him. So, parents forced her for the marriage.

They got married and it was final that she had to leave her parents abode and settle down with this man for the entire life. She was crying partially due to emotions for her parents and partially due to a headache. Everyone was happy. She used to play all those wedding games in her childhood and very fond of marriage. She was very happy because she was going to start a new life Lemme, remind you she was forced to marry.

Everything was done. The ceremony was conducted and rituals were performed. It was time to settle down on the bed on the weeding night. The room was decorated with roses, jasmine and the smell was damn adorable.

The girl was draped in red lehenga. She was very happy because for her marriage as it was all about meeting of two pure soul. She was nervous, it was a new journey for her.

“Door knocked”

They had a sharp eye contact.

The husband came in and smiled looking at her and asked,”Are you ready”? she couldn’t speak a word. She just smiled

The boy asked,”How are you? We couldn’t talk that much before our marriage but, Now,we can share everything with each other. “Tears rolled down from her eyes”

“Why are you crying”, he asked.

“She didn’t even utter a word”

“Huh, you are my soulmate, will you please speak now?”

She,”I had a very bad past, I am forced to marry you, I loved a boy, he cheated on me and I am no longer virgin”.

“Haha, you are my soulmate, Why are you even thinking of that guy now, ughh, calm down, I know that we didn’t share our past to each other but that is okay, What will I do of your past? Virgnity, what is that. It is just a word and nothing else, you are virgin fir me. Your soul is still virgin for me. If you love me and touch only makes you feel me and not someone else then you are virgin for me, being virgin is just a state of mind, it’s purity and honesty.
The world is changing and this kind of issues give rise to the movements like #AllInForHer , #HeForShe , #GirlsCount, etc. so just stand up, raise your voice and fight for the change.

Please feel free to comment.

A blog by Tanishka Jain

On one side we talk about the development of women and stuff regarding feminism but on the other side we show the same women to fall for a man who simply smells good or has a good muscular physique.

In the 21^st century where modernization has crept to its level best, where technology is developing at a rapid state, in such a technology oriented world the media and its subsidiary elements play a vital role in shaping the minds of the people.

Today whether he/she is a 3 years old child or a 60 year old person, what is common among both is the presence of a Smartphone. During the last decade the evolution of smart phones is magnificent to look and understand upon, hence the content portrayed on it plays a major role in shaping our minds.

When we switch on our TV’s and come across some advertisements, what comes to witness is a stereotypical women cooking in a house and waiting for the family at her house or a girl falls in love with a guy who has a good deodorant. Don’t you think it is high time now? Do we really lack the content that we have to come up with such ridiculous ads and create a huge psychological mindset on the minds of the people?

It’s my guarantee you will hardly come across an advertisement where female is the protagonist and is dominant against the male. When this rarity turns out to be a normalcy then I believe some change can be seen in the society, unless then do not accept any change in the name Feminism.

The main reason is when you shatter the Patriarchal mindset by portraying something against the same. When I say media, I am not restricting it to smart phones and televisions but expanding it to various sources of communication like radio, social media, print and many more.  

Creation of content plays a major role in this. Why are we not focusing on something which actually matters rather than simply showing some lame girl running after a boy who smells good!!!!!!

The impact of these is largely seen on the youth and they try to imply it to real life which turns out to be an absolute failure. When we say that “Content is the God”, then you don’t we imply and execute something which matters in real life. Breaking the stereotypes and showing the women as a powerful character is what needed at this high time.

Also the censor board should come into picture when a dark skinned girl is shown as less empowered in front of a white skinned one and where a girl with long hairs are considered more efficient than the ones in short hair. This is how we define feminism and this is how we mold the mindset of the public by showing something of utter waste and completely stereotypical.

The concept of Feminism does not lie in restricting a woman’s capability to that of man but to overcome the man’s achievements and to outplay them in all sectors and for this to happen we need more characters like Shivagami Devi From Bahubali movie and not Yami Gautum from Fair and Lovely!!!!

I saw this video yesterday evening,( 30^th May 2019) where a lady who identifies herself as an Indian but is a real shame to the well being of our motherland. She in the worst of manner verbally accused a young girl for wearing short clothes. At one stage she even came to a point, where she told that Girls wearing short clothes should be RAPED!!!!

When we talk about Feminism, women development, uplifment of Women and all other sort of progressive development, what I believe is the real change should be brought in the ugly and rotten mindset of our fellow citizens. When we are not even able to accept the basics of what in some sense is a part of progressive development, how on earth can we come to a conclusion that India is a developing country.

If wearing revealing clothes really makes the life of women in danger, then my fellow country mates the problem does not hold in the upbringing of the girl child, the problem lies in the dirtiest of mindset of your fellow boys.

The incident happened in Delhi, where a comparatively older lady told a girl in a restaurant that she should be ashamed of herself for wearing such small clothes. To add on to this she also asked some of the men over there that they should rape such girls!!!!! Now if this happens, in what way can we expect our society to develop? We restrict Feminism by talking about women development, but what I see is the problem is in the deep rooted mindsets of ours. If a woman does not stand for a woman, then how can we expect a man to stand for them?

 The Patriarchal system is not only a generation of mans ideas but it is a cumulative and mixed amalgamation of both women and men as well. There is an equal contribution of women as well in our Indian Society to poison and nourish the ideology of how a woman should live her life.

 The bundles of expectation and the rule book of don’ts restrict the life a soul to hell. My question is, whether developing big infrastructure and huge monuments define who we are, or is it the liberty the democratic country provides us to live a life of our will?

On what thought a parent nurtures their girl child also matters a lot. Because at the end of the day it is your girl who has to live an independent and successful life. Never limit a girls life to the size of clothes she wears and the number of male friends she has or the late night parties she does, because your today’s restriction will transform her as tomorrows hindrance for the real meaning of success.

Because if you really want to taste the real understanding of your nations success, JUST LET HER BE…….