Photosource: Hindustan Times

People generally use “sex” and “gender” interchangeably. But, while connected, the two terms are not equivalent. Generally, we assign a newborn’s sex as either male or female based on the newborn’s genitals. A person’s gender is a complex interrelation between Body, Identity and Social behaviour. Social gender includes gender roles and expectations and how society uses those to try to enforce conformity to current gender norms.

In India education and awareness about Gender is very lacking. It stigmatizes homosexuality and considers it as a social taboo. A homosexual person in India is not welcomed with open arms, rather is disowned in the name of religion, norms, false beliefs, hatred.

Going back to the roots, India before colonialism never criminalized homosexuality. If we look at it from the lens of religion, Hinduism has traditionally portrayed homosexuality as a natural phenomenon. The Khajuraho temples has scriptures showcasing various homosexuality activities. There is a character in Mahabharata named Shikhandi. She is a female but she chooses to be identified as male and eventually marries a woman. The Naradasmrti and Shushrut Samhita are the vital ancient scriptures about religion and medicine respectively. They both consider homosexuality unchangeable and forbids homosexuals from marrying the opposite sex.

Modern Homophobia was introduced to India by European Colonizers followed by enactment of section 377 by the British Raj in 1861, which stood for more than 70 years in India even after Independence. The Britishers considered Hijra community as criminals or worse did not look at them even as basic humans.

Today, the Indian youth has been as acceptable as ever for the homosexual and queer identities. But the social acceptance from family, homes, schools, society still remains a struggle for them.

In Urban India , where social media has played a crucial role in generating awareness for the queer community , the scenario still remains more upbeat for gay men than transgenders and lesbian women. While urban LGBT voices that are heard through several online platforms form an important part of LGBT activism, these expose only a small part of the innumerable challenges faced by the community. In rural India , far away from the twitter write-ups, gay parades and social media discussions , secret honor killings take place. They are forces to marry opposite genders and are under constant pressure of the society. People often run to some other city in the fear of being killed. They suffer from depression, social anxiety, low self esteem and peer pressure constantly.

Even after all this, if a homosexual choses to come out in open the hurdles do not stop. A recent study shows that one of the important factors that stigmatizes homosexuality is parental reaction. They are not able to accept the fact that their child has chosen an identity which has no recognition in their minds. Prince Manvendra Singh Gohil is the Prince of Rajpipla. His story has been well-documented in the media over the past several years and he now heads several initiatives to help LGBT people, including the Lakshya Trust that works for HIV/Aids prevention in the LGBT community.

In an interview, he said , “It was for no small reason that I was in the closet for 41 years,” he says. “I know of someone who got a sudden rush of inspiration from a TV programme and decided to come out to his family. It didn’t work. He lost his home, his job, everything. I always tell people to be fully aware of their own reality. Be financially prepared. “This is one of the Royal Families that we are talking about. The struggle doesn’t become less even then.

Indian Families have not been progressive enough to first accept their child’s basic choices in the first place. Our parenting techniques have been faulty from generations. A child is always compared with another child, is expected to fulfil parent’s dream, is constantly stereotyped into the box of their sex. Even when they become adults , they are not even liberated to choose the partners of their own choice. Inter caste marriage, Child marriage, Dowry are still issues in India.

A teenager is unable to speak about his or her problems to his or her parents. The country as a whole lacks the ability to accept the things as they are and various factors backing it up. Lack of family support can lead them into severe depression, thoughts of suicide and psychosomatic mental issues. Families that accept their identities put many restrictions in the way they choose to dress and interact with their partners. In the absence of family support, online groups and social media have offered accessible alternatives to form a community outside of family. Platforms like Gaysi and Gaylaxy, and publishers like Queer Ink have helped carve out spaces for LGBT people to interact, share and collaborate.

A human being is should be allowed to experience comfort in their bodies as it relates to their genders; naming of their genders that adequately corresponds to their inner selves ; express themselves in clothing and mannerisms that suits them the most.

A Bollywood dialogue comes in my head while writing this, “Tum kya leke aaye the tum kya leke jaoge.”

Let us Jiyo aur Jine do.

Bibliography : Livemint,Wikipedia.

By: Pahini Oza and Vidhi Bhatti.

• By Nayani Gaur and Devanshi Parmar

Red , bright like the marks he paints on my body. Please Stop ! Please Stop ! It hurts …
To me , colours were vibrant , but to my husband , colours had a different definition . My body was his canvas and he used the brush he wore around his waist to strike me with the blacks and blues and red staining me with the ink of his soul . … Red , Definitely Bright Red ! Bright like the one my daughter see everytime my son holds me by my hair and throws me across the floor . Red – bright like the one I see on my face in the mirror in perfect imprints of my mother- in- law’s hand . I sat in the corner of my room counting my scars creating the constellations to the stars they formed on my body .

Image source : Pinterest
Domestic violence – is the violence or abuse in a domestic setting such as in marriage or cohabitation . Also includes the violence against children parents or the elderly . It takes a number of forms including physical , verbal , emotional , economic , religious , reproductive and sexual abuse which can term from subtle coercive forms to marital rapes , and to violent physical abuse that results in disfigurement or death . This is what the Wikipedia says !
Dear People , it is not love . When fear , intimidation , and cruelty are present in a relationship , can you really call that love ?
Atleast 27.5 million Indian women have been victims of physical violence and verbal abuse by their in- laws and husbands . A crime against a woman is committed every 3 minutes . 65% of the Indian men believe that women deserve to be beaten up and should tolerate violence to keep the family together . A certain percentage of men gets their inspiration from the misogynistic Bollywood content .
Disclaimers such as “SMOKING KILLS” , “ALCHOHOL CONSUMPTION IS INJURIOUS TO HEALTH.” Or “NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED DURING THIS ACT.” are displayed before or during the movie . But what about the sexual abuse and the violence ? Don’t they need any sort of disclaimers ? The recent petition filed demands this to be legalised .

Image source : Pinterest
Most women are afraid to talk about their problems . Part of the reason is societal conditioning and financial dependence , but a greater part of the reason is the silence surrounding these cases .
Okay let me give you more dots so that you connect to it more . Just imagine , when the scene of the crime is your home , would anywhere in the world will feel safe anymore ? As here I am talking about the female abuse , let us not confuse it with done only my husbands . Be it any in-law ( saas , sasur , devar , nanad , etc ) or the home vicinity .
You know , here , the abusive partner does not have a problem with their anger . They have a problem with your anger . The ego , the manliness , the masculinity , the power gets hit here . The more you defend , the more they’ll offend .
The Indian values , norms and ethics doesn’t allows women to be rebellious , to answer back , or even to have her own right over her body and mind . In every case , she has to obey and respect to what is said . She is not given the privilege of rage . …….. that’s what most of the Indian women think !
Becoming a victim is not a choice , but becoming a survivor surely is one . No , today I am not gonna mention about the Domestic Violence Act , because it’s not just what you see i.e., most of the cases go underreported , and most of the women in the rural areas don’t even know any such thing .

They don’t always have to hit you , choke you , kick you , punch you or slam your head into the wall in order for it to be a domestic violence . They can degrade you , humiliate you , torture you , abuse you , stalk you , and what not …and it would still be called domestic violence .
This can lead to dowry deaths , honour killings , marital rapes , suicides etc.
It’s not from now , that the issue is been highlighted .
It’s from years , that the situation has been tightened .
Dating before , and beating after is not how it should work .
Not every time the bruises , the scratches , the ripped off clothes and the messy bun will be the evidence to lurk .
Is this your love that aches a lot ?
Or is this the ego above that barks a lot ?

Video URL source – YouTube “Video Volunteers.

• By Yashasvee Trivedi and Hellie Mistry

It’s not really rape, if he’s her husband?
Marital Rape refers to a non-consensual sexual intercourse by a man with his wife.
According to the Section 375 of the Indian Penal Code (IPC) the husband has the privilege to have sexual intercourse with his wife against her consent if she is above 18 years of age.Image Source : Pinterest

Women are treated as objects, born to please men. After marriage if a woman is forced to have sex with her husband she cannot file a complaint AGAINST that but still that is RAPE.
This is hard for people to understand. Even today when people are asked about Marital Rape they shout at you and tell you that after marriage it’s not rape, it’s her duty, her husband paid dowry so that he can get all the pleasures from her.
Women are asked to take care of the family. They are called as the glowing diyas for the family. The Laxmi of the house. But when she denies sex, she is beaten. The light that she holds is annihilated by his own husband, how can we expect her to light up everything around.Image source : Instagram

According to survey done by ScoopWhoop over 58% of the people living in tier – II towns in Haryana believe that men have complete right over their wives after marriage. Every other night she is frightened to sleep with him. She wants him to respect her consent. But the patriarchal society doesn’t allow a woman to ask for anything. India is one of the thirty – six countries that still has not criminalized Marital Rape. The Supreme Court is flooded by petitions to criminalize Marital Rape but in a statement the former CJI of India Dipak Mishra said that “I do not think that Marital Rape should be regarded as an offence in India because it will create absolute anarchy in families and our country is sustaining itself because of the family platform which upholds the family values.”
• Almost one – third of all married women in India have experienced spousal violence.
• The National Family Health Survey 2018 states that 83% of married women between the ages of 15 and 49 who have ever suffered sexual abuse cite their husband as perpetrator.
• The NFHS – 4 reports that 31% of married women have been subjugated to physical, sexual and emotional violence at the hands of their spouse.
The studies till date indicate that Women who are raped by their husbands are more likely to experience multiple assaults and often suffer long –term physical and emotional consequences.
The legal system discriminates between the married and unmarried woman. Article 14 incorporates equality before the law. If a married woman is taped by her own husband it is not considered as a crime because if the Indian judicial system calls it as a crime it may “destabilize the institution of marriage.” Women themselves find it difficult to believe that a husband can rape his wife. After all how a man can be accused of rape if he is availing his conjugal rights. Women have no right their body and their will is subject to that of their husband. Marital Rape is the most repugnant form of masochism in the Indian society. Marital rape is particularly complicated because the complex, personal nature of marital relationships makes it hard for the victim to even see herself as a victim, let alone reporting the offending act to the authorities, which is why Marital Rape is one of the highly under-reported violent crimes. The women who consider themselves as victims do not approach authorities as they are dependent upon their husbands and if they file a complaint against them the family’s reputation would be destroyed. In Dharavi 159 women reported for other issues as Marital Rape. At Sneha’s counseling center out of 2018 cases 64 cases were of the women who faced Marital Rape. The continuing dispensation of marital rape from the attention of criminal law assists assumption of the wife as absolute property of her husband.
Indian women’s organizations have succeeded to achieve public awareness and to pass law against domestic violence, but marital rape has not been fully criminalized by abolishing the distinction between marital rape and stranger rape. But marital rape will neither be criminalized nor punished, until legislators and the society acknowledge a woman’s rights within the marriage.Image source : Instagram

Ideas about women’s sexuality, and therefore ideas about non-marital and marital rape in Indian society, come in concept of gender, shame and family honor, rather than women’s rights and individual right. Marital Rape is more traumatic than rape by a stranger. India is moving in positive change with laws in case of women but there is still need for the law to toss the coin instead of flipping it and provide women safety from any kind of rape. Also there is a need for women to stand for their rights, stand for their daughters and take action against such heinous crime.
Its time to raise the voices. It’s time to bring the change.
#letstalkaboutlesstalked

LGBT community stands for Lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender. This gender usually unaccepted in the society. They are treated unequally in public sphere. This are the community in which the person sexually attracted with the people of both sexes. A gay man is sexually attracted with men and women called the Lesbian. India’s this community struggle for long time. Our India is not open on LGBT discussion .The Lesbian children are unable to speak about that they are transgender. They do not open their gender in public sphere. Earlier they face lot of discrimination by the people. They were unable to married with each other. It was not legalised .Some organisations are active of the lesbians fighting for their rights in many cities. Generally it feels them shameful to be lesbian so they aren’t able to come in public and accept it. But now many people are active for these and making equality in all gender. When we study about the gender we came to know that lesbians are not an abnormality it’s a type of a gender and it is by birth. Hence, there are various gender exist. In India this cases are found less as compared to other countries. So this is difficult to accept for the people. But now as we see many examples among us have reached to a certain height. As the Supreme Court passes the judgement on Section 377 and legalised their marriage after these decision a lot of discussion occurs among the youth. But now it has become the normal and a healthy discussion for the people about LGBT. For a long period of time they were apart from the society but now they are connecting slowly-slowly with the society. Now lesbians are also coming in public sphere and sharing their feelings with the public by joining some public programs and also they are not feeling nervous by sharing Gender Identities.

BY:- PAREEKSHIT RAJPUROHIT

Feminism is a real drain when it comes to discussion, earlier it was meant to be for upliftment of women, but now it is defined in as many ways as a series of magnetic lines around a magnet. When somehow a consensus is derived on that, then new doubts emerge within them. For eg- Is it really equality, to offer a female your seat in bus? Questions like these used to hit me, until I managed to find out the answer to be NO. Means, why should I give my seat to someone respective of their gender, logically to do so, I should be looking at the need of the person rather.

Studying the lookout of people’s reaction can also be very entertaining, today while sitting on a railway platform, I just think that what would I be doing if I find a man beating his wife here, the scene which I framed in came to be as, not just me, but many people would approach the scenario to nullify the bullying by him, shortly police would also arrive and the man’s moral lookout would be degraded severely among that crowd, and so it should be. Now what I improvised further, proved me a quite hypocrite, I just reversed the scenario of my imagination, and this time made the man take beating from his wife, as soon as I glanced about it, the first reflex was a chuckle by me, I somehow concluded that in this case police might intervene but not the people, including ME. To maintain peace in public place, police might arrive to stop it, but I guess no strict action would be taken in this case. The people around would be giggling, and in this case too, the lookout towards that man itself would be not positive by the public. And women would be looked with scare.

Famous dialogues by heroes in Bollywood movies be like-‘I don’t fight women, I don’t kill women and children’. The second line seems to be quite fair and heroic, but my mindset looks at it in a quite different way, You automatically prove women to be weak and incapable by stating so. A counter argument may arrive that the protagonist RESPECTS women, so he doesn’t lend a hand on them, but why is he respecting the womankind and agreeing to killing mankind, as if the latter is all bad. It links to me like if Hitler is saying-‘I don’t kill Christians or Hindus, Jews are okay for me to be slaughtered.’ Well that doesn’t justifies the massacre done by him, and so applies to those dialogues.

Not just these, try flipping the coin in other prospects too, you would drown in your thoughts, just for your help, try thinking about girls being regular long distance truck drivers in India, there might already be some really out there, but just give it a thought, and carefully assess what you conclude.

 

 

 

 

Image Credits- Google

What is a stereotype?      

A set idea that people have about what someone or something is like, especially an idea that is wrong

How cinema is taking steps to break stereotypes? (Bollywood)

Cinema is taking great steps to break stereotypes of the Indian society. Cinema is taking up issues that are still prevailing in the society like gender discrimination, portrayal of women, body shaming, promoting stereotypes, etc. People get influenced by the movies they watch and this can actually help in changing the thinking of the people in society on many gender related issues. Movies like Queen, Pink, Mardaani, English Vinglish, etc. have succeeded in providing a great social message and changing what people think about women and the value they hold for them. Not to blame anyone but our society somewhere or the other  favors men and suppresses, stereotypes and dominates women. Many movies encourage people (any gender) to fight for their rights and help them to come out and gives them a platform to express. In many ways movies tries to sensitize people about gender neutrality and how important it is to treat everyone equally irrespective of their gender.

Here are the two movies on which I have penned down my opinion and shown how the movies have broken stereotypes:

PINK (2016)

Pink is a movie which shows the story of three independent girls who live in Delhi and become a part of a crime just because they tried to defend and save themselves from something wrong that was about to happen (their fellow male friends misbehaved and tried to manipulate them because they were drunk).  The movie talks about problems like molestation, rape, violence against women, gender discrimination and many other issues faced by the women in our society. Three girls named Minal, Falak, and Andrea are constantly fighting against the wealthy and politically powerful boys who tried to molest them. Minal hits a glass bottle on one of the boy’s (Ranveer) head. Later the girls are also threatened by  Ranveer and his friends for what they did. Even the society judged the three girls on the basis of this incident and didn’t support them. The society blindly judges women on the basis of what she wears, the length of her clothes, how she talks and carries herself, her occupation, whether she drinks or not, the time she comes home etc. Later, minal is charged for her actions and the case is called an attempt to murder and thus she is arrested by the police and to everyone’s surprise, no lawyer agrees to fight the case of the three girls as Ranveer is the son of a politician. Finally Deepak Sehgal decides to defend the three girls who had quit his job due to dipolar disorder. After a lot of struggle, the girls win the case and are able to prove that they were not wrong. The movie talks about stereotypes like women who drink in the bars are usually “available” for the men and are there to please and entertain them. In our society, no matter how many laws are made for the protection of women, it is always hard to change the mentality of people and the ideas they hold.

Their (three girls) pain reflects the voice of millions of women who have to deal with harassment and many other similar problems. In India, the male’s voice is usually given preference. Why do people still believe that men cannot do anything wrong until and unless they are provoked to do so? The society usually blames the victims instead of the perpetrators. A woman is always blamed for anything that happens even if she is the victim. The people need to change the way they think and make the society and people around them realize and that women are not objects and they donot exist to entertain men and satisfy them. It is the time; we should respect every gender and treat them equally.

Mardaani (2014)

Mardaani is a women centric film in which Rani Mukherjee is shown as a brave, dedicated and bold lady officer. Mardaani conveys a true story of child trafficking and drug rackets which exist and are constantly growing in India. This movie makes a mark. Shivani Shivaji Roy (Rani Mukherjee) is a senior Inspector of Crime Branch. Pyaari, a teenage girl and an orphan who is close to Shivani is kidnapped by a sex racket gang, which is run by the kingpin, Walt (Tahir Bhasin). Shivani mounts an operation to hunt down the gangs that kidnap children/ teenagers and force them to become sex slaves. It depicts the terrible and cruel reality of the world we live in and also represents the truth that children trafficking is a major problem of the country which has an alarming need to be eradicated. 

Even though it is a women centric movie and tries to empower women by conveying the message that women should stand up for their power and the fact that they can do many things but still, in spite of this, the name of the movie itself promotes gender stereotypes and is based on the literal meaning “LIKE A MAN”. According to me, women should not be judged on that scale because women are capable of doing everything, they only need a chance which most of the women don’t get in this ‘MALE-ORIENTED’ society. The movie is up to the point and touches a very sensitive issue of Gender neutrality and Child trafficking.

-Ruddrik Gajjar

A video about a lady recently went viral all over the social media that recorded a heated argument between a lady and a group of other girls.  The video was an attempt of the girls to bring forward the insensitivity that people had in their minds regarding rape and how people assume it being associated with the kind of clothes the girls chooses to wear. The whole issue began when a lady in a café commented on a girl’s way of dressing who sitting in the same café.  The old lady found the girl’s dress indecent and provoking. She had to say that the length of her skirt was very short and not appropriate. Adding on to the same she said that such dresses are the reason why she should get raped. The lady soon left the café after she got done and the girl on whom she had commented followed her to the store she went to. The girl along with her friends followed her to the store where the girls started recording the entire scenario. The video starts with the girl asking the old lady what she just said about her in the café. To which the lady arrogantly replies that she will not say anything.

Where the sole purpose of the girl was to make the lady rethink about what she said and apologize to her, the talk very soon turned into a heated argument wherein ladies from the store too joined. There was no turning back from both the sides, nor did the lady want to apologize, nor did the girls want to end the discussion without making the lady realize her mistake. The argument got extended upon calling the police too. The lady asked the employees to call the store manager and to also call the police. While the girls too wanted to call the police for letting them know what the old lady said. Amidst the same joined a lady from the store  who said that even she was a mother and if anyone had ever said something as bad as getting raped because of the kind of clothes she wore, she would have slapped them right on their face. Things got worse when the lady saw so many girls humiliating her and recording footage to make her say what she had said in the café. Out of anger and disgust, she even worse, to which everyone at the store was shocked to hear. Everyone was against the lady.

This being the story of yesterday i.e., 30 April 2019, right from the time it got uploaded by the girl, it got viral within an hour. The video crossed 1 million views and everyone around were posting stories to the lady and make her realize what she had done.

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Everyone seemed to highly support the girls and stand with them. They were successful in identifying the lady and also did they manage to get an old picture of the same lady in a knee length dress, to which they added saying “Now the length of aunties’ skirt is bothering me” which tried to tell people that she was a hypocrite. This entire fiasco turning out to be of such intensity was not expected.  While it was the issue from the girl’s end, people without giving any thoughts about the same, started commenting on the lady. Where does freedom of expression come?  I am surely not in support of what the lady said and I totally agree to the fact that what she said was very wrong but is humiliating her to such an extent on the social media the only solution people would have thought about? Did they even think about what the consequences of such an action would have been?  It might lead to social pressure as well as something as acute as mental and physical distress. The effects of such an action can lead so many people to suffer.  People who haven’t done anything wrong, her children, her family who would also have to face the humiliation and social pressure. Where the lady was completely wrong about what she said and the fact that no one should have ever said something as insensitive as that, the reality of the society is that people still believe in this and hold the same mentality. It’s not just one lady, there are hundred out there who think in the same way, who have the same mentality and who believe that clothes of a lady actually decide whether they should be raped. Slut shaming, body shaming is still a thing that exists. The same thing could have been dealt in a better way by talking and making her realize her mistake.  You don’t have to humiliate people about what they say, you have to bring a change and make them sensitive. Everything has two sides of it and where everyone is seeing that the lady was wrong, the girls too were and celebrating the failures of society by cutting a cake with a group of people would surely not be the only thing to do after all that happened. Another question to rise is the fact that would the scenario right now if the same thing was said by a man?  Obviously not.  The consequences would have been much radical and the actions taken would have been completely different.  This is where law, order, and legal actions from the government come in.  Where the society talks about equality, is it really practiced in the society?  Are things implemented the way it should have been? 

If it were a guy, he would have been ended up behind the bars by midnight.

-Ruddrik Gajjar