WHAT IS SEX TO YOU AS AN INDIAN WOMAN?

*(I apologize for not using the names of the women I interacted with but this was something they requested me not to divulge) *

“Sex for men is pleasure and for women means children as per the society”

“It isn’t a decent question to ask me in public beta”

“It’s a natural thing but it is scary for me to ever even mention the word?”

“Do you realize how inappropriate this question is.”

“It is one of the duties of a married woman toward her husband.”

These were some of the women who “somewhat” answered my question. They called it inappropriate, a duty, and referred to it as a means for reproduction. Some stated it in the context of the society and some didn’t answer the question at all, finding it not only indecent but rude.

The question is what is sex to you as an Indian woman. Sex everywhere in each society and culture has a different understanding, though the act is the same and is indulged in for similar reasons whether it be for reproduction or pleasure. But their uneasiness and change in demeanour when asked such a question answered my question. Women in India are scared to say that they indulge in coitus and like it. It has been a man’s zone of interaction and ‘expertise’ (as some called it) since generations. It cannot be yet fathomed that women too have sexual desires and are inclined to implement them.

In the small group that I interacted with, which were mostly my female relatives (including my mother) and friends I realized the fear that has been put in them majorly by their own gender i.e. their mothers and other females surrounding them than the men. A lot of them are scared to even talk to the senior female members about intercourse due to the fear of being looked down upon. My own mother and the mothers of my friends have risen above this and have nurtured us to understand sex as not a thing to be afraid of; the choice of partner is what should be taken into consideration. Safety in terms of biological and emotional health is of the utmost importance not just for us Indian women but men too.

As shocking as it may be to read this but many women do not understand the difference between rape and sex. In certain areas of the Indian society where patriarchy is being taken advantage of; women are not only made to supress their sexual urges and choices but are being told to fear it and to enjoying it would be a sin and therefore some women pretend to be in pain during the action.

“Sex, my dear, is a tool of power and manipulation not just used by a man but by a woman too.”

Seen in the caste system of India wherein women are the victims of sexual abuses (of the gory sort) just so that the discrimination and the position of power by the upper-class males is maintained. It also occurs in relationships where in one partner tries to control the other using sex which eventually transcends into sexual indecencies and sometimes sexual abuses. It is also used by the subordinate person to attempt to balance the disparity between him and her and vice versa in a relationship.

But sometimes caste, class and role has noting to do with sexual crimes; it is just the immoral urge to satisfy the sexual need irrespective of it being illegal. This is not an accusation against men but is a nature widely noticed in them, though women do so too; in order to be sexually sated they will rape or molest their ‘object’ of desire. The number of violent sexual predators due to this is increasing day by day.

These predatorial tendencies can be, to a certain limit, attributed to the lack of sexual awareness of the parents and the man and woman in adolescent stages. Sex education is important but to understand what and when and how an individual has to understand their own body and then the body of their partner. Individuals, women or men or others have to understand the term consent which is an essential before the act itself is committed.

They have to understand that in terms of sexual activity age is not just a number and has to be taken into consideration. Two underaged individuals shouldn’t indulge in coitus not just because it is illegal but also understand its repercussions on their health and psyche. But sex has been treated like a trend amongst the youth and is more of a ‘Plaything’ than a complicated intertwining of two consensual individuals to express not only their love but respect for one another.

Sex or coitus or intercourse has been grossly misinterpreted and neither women nor men have understood it properly yet indulge in it and suffer dire consequences. This goes a long way to show that sex iin india is not only considered a taboo but is a synonym for sin and disgust.

 

Sports has the power to change the world…..it has the power to inspire. It has the power to unite people in a way that little else does . It speaks to youth in a language they understand .Sports can create hope where once there was only despair. It is more powerful than government in breaking down racial barriers.
– Nelson Mandela
Sports is looked and said to be away from any type of social evil like race caste creed etc. .It is said to be for anyone and everyone. But his statement contradicts to the actual scenario of of the world of sports today. In twenty first century also ,we can see that sports is seen as man’s field .Some may disagree to this that it is not so .Women are participating and exceling in this field. But my question is that are women’s sports are given same status as men’s ? Huge disparity can be seen between sports of men and sports of women .Preference is always the males and their sports be it any in media ,be it in school ,be it salary or any other aspect .
The problem starts with the parents mentality that girls should not be a part of sports .It is because of many reasons ,like girls are weak and not suitable for sports , because of some religious beliefs ,because of the fear of what others will say ,because if any injury takes place no one would marry her etc. If girl fights all this and tries to be in this field still she has to go through a lot of problems in this field .In school where teachings of equality is given, there also disparity of gender in sports can be seen .There are trained coaches and equipment’s for boys but not for girls . Teams and training only for boys and not for girls. Funds of sports for women and men if compared is like ant infront of elephant. So hurdles – hurdles everywhere and to has to achieve goals in this field.

Even technology is becoming gendered.

Now talking about the salary of sportspersons of both gender is another comparison which can reveal the dark side of this topic. In India cricket is the most popular sport in India so I am taking example of that. Comparing the salary of both the captains of Indian men’s and women’s cricket team you can see the dispairity.Our captain of men’s cricket team Virat Kohli falls in A category of the categories A,B,C gets annual income of average 2 crores .On the same hand our captain of women’s cricket team Mithali Raj who also falls in A category of only 2 categories A and B gets average income of only 15 lacks per annum. Though she is the highest paid women cricketer in this world but is painful to know that her salary is very low even if compared to the C grade cricketers of men’s cricket. In an interview she also shared the problems she faced in early 2000s when she didn’t even had a proper kit for matches which is most basic thing for a sportsperson .her father arranged it after a lot of efforts. She always talks openly about these disparities very openly. But the fight for her and for every women sportsperson is bigger.
Media has a very big role in bringing a change or promoting things so that it can be cached by people’s eye but our media is also in the same track as others .they sometimes even add to the problems. If we carefully look at the portrayal of men’s and women’s sports in media ,we will see the difference in how they are portrayed so differently. It is seen that rather than focusing on game they focus on looks and figure of the sportsperson .We can also notice that the coverage of women’s news is noting infront of men’s. They don’t get the publicity, they don’t get the fame ,they don’t get the appreciation they are worthy of .If we ask people why the scenario is like this ,they have a ready answer that female sports doesn’t attracts audience .But question again arises why? If we will get the answer of this why and change the mindset and behavior ours towards women’s sports ,for sure we will create wonders..

For further information’s –
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/326173583_Gender_unevenness_in_the_sports_pages_of_newspapers_A_case_study_based_on_Indian_womens_cricket_team
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CIZ24gD6XM8

This Blog page is writtern by Mahima Mishra.

The main idea of feminism is to let women be free, but we rarely realise that we are being dominated or oppressed in some or other way daily.
This patriarchal dominance is so well fitted into our life style that many a times we don’t recognize that we are being dominated or being dominant.
Have a look upon these situations …
Generally in family get-together, discussion starts with politics, health, education, school, grandfather, and his only grandson(my brother)… and things would get upon properties and who would get what … Where I don’t have any right on them … Moving on with these property affairs things would transfer his eldest granddaughter …yup me … Now since I m about about to touch 20 … When ever talk about me after 60 seconds of discussion on my academics and my hobbies they would for sure land up to my marriage plans( rather shaddi, doesn’t this word gives more feeling )… And then comes this great topic Dowry (aah! No! Dahej … Dowry sounds like a crime… but Dahej, it’s a tradition)… Even on this topic they wouldn’t need my opinion What I want to take along with me? What kind of jewellery I want? Or which car if I need one ! Even this topic is something they would discuss in themselves and close … Even before the closure they would ask me if I m satisfied or not? So how would I think of having my say in deciding whom I want to marry … The only thing I could imagine right now through these things is one fine day they would be ready with marrige cards and would be offering me with the “shadi k zoda” to get ready for the “mandap”…
The most ironical part of every discussion is, they would say “arrey mera beta toh itna sunder hai ki ladkiya uske piche ghumti hai, arrey society m toh ladkiya ghar tak bulanee a jati hai” ( I mean seriously that is a proud moment mum … you should throw parties …celebrate it …) but if I say “arrey iss hisab se toh pura school hi bachpan se aaagee piche ghumta hai mere”(Oh no! Aditi !! How dare you say that!! Atleast thing you are standing in front of your grandparents … Oh!! Yeah ladki haat se nikal gayi hai! such a characterless behaviour)
The other stakeholders of patriarchy is the society… Just think about these situations …
A girl in chaniya choli and saree is decently dressed, she is so much in touch with the tradition but a girl in crop top, oh!! how dare she ? Just look how confidentiality she is showing so much of her stomach!!
Why talking about someone’s chaadi k naara is ok but a bra hook is always a secret… It’s censored … If they are in vest with their packs giving shapes, ahh! They look more of a man… But a bra giving shapes of boobs is generally her want to appeal someone sexually… The most sad part of all this mind-set is that it leads to the assumption that the girls is completely responsible for her own rape …

You might either agree or disagree upon all the views that I (Aditi Parasher) have on Patriarchy A mind-set that governs the society.

“Deal Done”, a short film written and directed by Om Choudhary alarms the audience about consequences if the dowry practice persists. It shows a typical scenario of parents meeting for fixing the marriage. The conversation between the families is portrayed in a way as if they are discussing a business deal.

The dialogues in the film reflect the reality of patriarchal society. The only difference between reality and the film is that in the film, the characters are speaking their mind out while in reality everything is understood. When the boy’s father asks the girl about her hobbies, the girl simply answers that she does not have any likes or dislikes; she follows whatever her parents say.

The boy’s parents appreciate the girl’s parents for good control over the “product”. The product’s parents list features of the “product” and they proudly say that they have taught her everything a girl should know, and they have invested in the product a great deal except in education because after marriage education is not necessary.

The characters are desensitized about the matter of marriage. The user’s father asks for a dowry of 50 Lakhs because every product needs capital for its maintenance and if the product’s father fails to deliver the money before the marriage, the product will face side effects like abusing and teasing. The product’s father bargained and 45 lakhs was fixed as dowry. The product is sold, deal done.

Unlike how Bollywood movies portray actress’s entrance which is objectified by the camera angles moved from bottom to top, the director of photography, Manas Tiwari used the law of thirds which enhanced the character’s personality as well as the ambiance.

Secondly, the technique of freezing the characters when they are not participating in a particular scene made the film interesting to watch.

A question mark at the end of the title i.e. “Deal Done?” would have maintained the curiosity of the audience till the end, also using special sound effects in the background would have increased the intensity of the situation.

The dialogues and expressions undoubtedly awake the audience to stop the practice of dowry. I rate this short film 4.5/5 and recommend it to all the citizens of this country. Dowry is the biggest social evil of our society and we must actively stop it, starting from our own homes.

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This blog post is written by Priya Valaniya. Please share your views. Thank you.

MOVIE REVIEW

Movie name: Ek Ladki Ko Dekha to Aisa Laga

Release Date: 1.Feb.2019

Director: Shelly Chopra Dhar

Cast: Anil Kapoor

Sonam Kapoor Ahuja

RajKumar B

Box office collection: Rs 43.95 crores

PLOT OF THE MOVIE

The movie revolves around a Punjabi Family, who is over enthusiastic about the young women in the family named Sweety Chaudhary (Sonam). And on the other hand Sweety is a type of girl who hates men and never wants to get married. The family calls off many boys for Sweety but she does not want to get marry with anyone of them. Once a boy was called for her named Sahil Mirzia (RajKumar) who is a struggling drama writer, who urges to marry Sweety in any condition. Then Sweety once called up Sahil to meet her and then she told the real reason behind ignoring all the marriage proposals. She told she had a secret close to heart that is she is a lesbian and she loves other girl Kuhu since a long time. That is why she does not response to any of the marriage proporsals as she loves Kuhu. For the first time Sahil did not understand anything and never wanted to comment over Sweety’s relationship with a Girl. And about this relationship Sweety’s brother also got to know that is why he wanted her to get marry as soon as possible.

But later Sahil thought to help her out in this situation.Then after listening the whole story of Sweety with her love Kuhu he decided to make a Drama over this whole story said by sweety, so that the Chaudhary family could get to know about the homosexual relationship of their daughter with another girl.

The drama was named “Ek Ladki Ko Dekha Toh Aisa Laga”. So the stage was set, the characters were set but nobody knew that this story revolves over a real story. And everybody was ready with their script and the story.

After all the preparations on the day of play Sahil brought Kuhu to play the role of Kuhu in the drama. Maximum all the characters were inspired with the real life characters. And the play started, which revolves over a wedding scene where Kuhu and Sweety met for the first time.

 Till the end Sweety’s brother got to know about the drama which was held in the hall as he was not there in the place for last some days. And when he got to know that Kuhu had also join the drama, he went in the crowd to watch the drama and got to know that this story revolves around Sweety’s homosexual relationship. Then he decided to speak up about it but before that only Sweety had spoken for her relationship with Kuhu. The whole family and all the audiences were shocked to know about all these and was against the relationship. But later after some inconvenience with the help of same drama Sweety’s father and whole family realized that there is no curse in Sweety being a homosexual and sharing her relationship with same sex.

MY WORDS (CONCLUSION)

In the beginning of the movie the women was not praised by her brother for being a homosexual. But this story does not only revolve over the family or it’s not only the problem of her brother it’s the bad mentality of the whole Indian Society. The people here don’t want to see two same gendered person together.

Every Indian has the right to live their lives as they want. If a women loves to be with another women, if she wants to be in a relationship with her then we are no one to dislike or like her decisions. The movie is all about a women’s relationship with other women. The society is now not ready to accept these types of relationships.

 Indian society is very confusing for us, as if they see any girl being a friend with a boy it hurts them a lot they even start trolling the girl and talking about her in the Society, but when the girl grows up she has all the rights to be with a boy but after marrying him. Like what!

If a girl is always told to be friend with “only girls” and be away from the boys, then why that is she can’t make that friendship deeper by being in relationship with her. If she is told not to be with boys in her younger age then afterwards if that girl does not want to be with the boys in her whole life then there should not be any controversy over being a Lesbian.

This blog post is writtern by Kumud.

DEBATE

FOR THE TOPIC

A women! She is a daughter, wife and a mother, the three backbones of a family. In India, people think that women are weak and can’t do anything over this I just want to give my opinion that

 ‘If a women can bear the pain while giving birth to a child then there is nothing impossible for a women’

In Indian society, it is assumed that if a men is working then what is the need of a women to work? ’ Women deserve equal rights to men. I don’t see any losses in women working after marriage, in fact it will bring more benefits to the economic condition of the family. Women are independently strong and have the ability and strength to work. We are living in a developing country and in 21^st century where mostly everything is fair enough for both the genders then why to differentiate them on the basis of work?

Now the only question arising against the women working is that, “who will look after the children if the women started working after marriage?”  So basically according to this women is only there to take care of the children and do the household chores after marriage. If a women can get paternity leave then why not a men? OH! Haa they’ll not be allowed because they are a “MEN”… correct! No it’s just that it all starts from the social stigma and pressure that a men will be sitting at home. In India, if a women can be with the child with her paternity leave for the first 3-4 years for his/ her growing age then father is also equally responsible for the further growth of the child. The child needs the father as well in his growing age.

So dear men, if you think that “you earn enough that is why the wife don’t need to work”. Then let me make a thing clear that it’s not about earning money it’s all about financial independence of the women. She has the right to work anytime, anywhere and with anyone. And if you think that independent women is leading to rise of divorce cases in India, and as per my assumption it’s good for women because they can finally break out of abusive marriages. And dear men, if you think that divorces are bad for children then abusive marriages are worse for them.

AGAINST THE TOPIC

The only thing that can oppose the topic is that

“If the women started working after marriage then who will look after the household and children?”

This is true that a women has the right to do everything in India but if she starts working then the whole scenario will be different. If she is working then you need to hire a maid to look after the household work (and the children). And in India if you hire a maid in some metropolitan cities they will easily charge some Rs10000-15000. And beside the children is spending their whole day with an outsider. You even don’t know how reliable the person is and you believe in them and leave your children with them for a whole day. Small children always need their parents around because some children who do not get the attention of their parents in early days are tend to get frustrated and sad.  A child always needs a parent to look after them specially the mother.

In India, if a women ties herself with another person and also own a child of her own blood and flesh then you as a women is no more independent it is just selfishness. You cannot leave your house or your child who is just growing up with some unknown person whom you call as the “maid”.

If you are a married women in India and also own a child then you don’t expect your in-laws to take care of the child for a whole day just because the mother is working out. If the children are grown up and grown up and goes to school then there will be no one to give them food and take care of them after coming from school.

A working women is expected to work for a one whole day and come back in the evening and do the left out household work and then she will be tired by working for whole day and after all these she’ll go and sleep and end her day. In all these there is no time for her to spend some time with her family, ask her children about their studies and teach them moral values.  Family and households are the main jobs of a women after marriage, she will not be able to hold all these at once. If she has the house and a child then it’s her duty to look after them.

This Blog Post is writtern by Kumud.

Feminist Rani, written by two award winning journalist; Shaili Chopra and Megha Pant who presented India’s most powerful voices on Gender Equality. The book is collection of 14 path-breaking and thrilling journeys of personalities like Kalki Koechlin, Gurmehar Kaur, Gul Panag, Rana Ayyub, Tanmay Bhat and many more. These people have advocated gender equality and are inspiriting society to break gender stereotypes through their work.

What is Feminism? The answer is not that complicated. Feminism is not misandry, it is not about being loud or only about “female”. Feminism is not about a “type”. According to Sapna Bhavani, “feminism to her is like masculinity to a man; he is not asked what means to be masculine on a daily basis”. The true purpose of feminism will be achieved when patriarchy will end. According to my understanding, feminism is a movement for gender equality. The definition of feminism is fluid in nature, what might be convincing for me might not convince you, but ultimately feminism is about equality and freedom.

The name of the book is not appealing to me, “Feminist Rani”, the whole book talks about gender equality and yet the word “Rani” which literally means “female aristocrat” does not match with the concept. “Feminist Icons” or “Feminist Indians” would have been a gender-neutral name for the book.

Secondly, editing of the content in the second half of the book is not correctly done which has muddled the author’s opinion. The content would have been much clear if the interviews were presented in Question and Answer form rather than a storytelling manner.

Lastly, out of 14 interviews, there only 2 men and 1 transgender interview and the rest of them are given by women. This ratio does not represent gender equality. Also, the author should have included a summary or added a concluding statement which would have given the book a satisfactory ending.

On the other side, the book provides various outlooks on feminism. Film star like Kalki Koechlin struggled to hold her own identity after marriage, Deepa Malik (a Paralympian) started winning medals internationally but not nationally and the family of Shree Gauri Sawant did not accept her sexual orientation. Patriarchy is found in every institution of the Indian society and it affects everyone.

The book is a mixed bag of experiences and inspiring stories. The informal language and setting while the author is taking the interview makes the reader involved in the content and gives the essence of the personalities.

The book does not only educate but it also sensitizes the readers about the issue. It covers all the issues of patriarchal society from Aarefa Johari’s Female Genital Multination struggle to Aditi Mittal’s challenge of becoming a comedian.

All the personalities believed that feminism starts at home and from within. They have shared motivating words which give hope to the readers and inspire them to work on equality on a daily basis.

“The same boiling water softens the potato and hardens the egg.” These words by the author inspired me the most. It is about what we are made up of and not our circumstances. We need to get strong from the inside and fight.

I recommend this book to every citizen of India because it explains the true meaning of feminism and ignites mind to become one.

This blog post is written by Priya Valaniya. Please comment your views. Thank you.

Mia is sub brand from the jewellery brand tanishq, released it’s digital campaign with the drop dead beautiful film #BESTATWORK . This film has been conceptualised by Lowe Lintas and produced by Remarquer films, Nandita Das narrating an epic poem , “ last thing on my mind”.

This advertisement has a very beautiful narration of poem which is based on working women who are used to seeing cliched, stereotypical thrown at them.

First stanza :

“To those who live in their bubble,

That a girl can’t juggle between the office and the home ,

because they think it will be such a struggle.

Well, it’s the last thing on my mind”.

These lines describes how stereotypical mindset people think that a women won’t be able to handle her job if she is married, here comes this ad breaking all the norms saying that it’s the last thing on a women’s mind.

Another stanza :

“Whoever came up with this silly notion,

That a girl should dress according to her profession?

Well, it’s the last thing on my mind”.

“And how they sit and smirk,

That if a girl look good she’s probably not good at her work

Well, it’s the last on my mind”.

This film showcases an ambitious women not only brings her best at work but also she dressed well to work . Well dressed good looking girls are often said and taken as dumb at workplace is a mere stereotypical notion , here this brand beautifully portrays that you can wear whatever you want and still make your best being confident at your workplace .

Film also does it’s best promoting the brand and at the same time social message. In my opinion this makes it look like the brand is not only concerned about promoting brand but also in breaking norms by spreading social awareness. Brand has a philosophy feels need to have social responsibility which attracts consumer and helps to create a good “brand image”.

This brand does it research and come up with a beautiful campaign not asking people to “change the mindset” but potraying that how women’s have change themselves, women’s nowadays don’t care what society has to say about them but focused on more of doing their best at work.

Hello everyone this blog is written by Asifa khan , please do let me know your opinions in the comment section .thanks!

Gone are the days when women used to fight for the consideration of their talents. Earlier women’s fought for the legal reforms, probably the struggle was to get out of the house. It took so much time to believe that even females can come out and work more better than males . Even today situation is not much better, they still has to fight for the position, equal wages, promotions, opportunities and most importantly the respect they deserve.

First women was the photo journalist vyarawalla was popularly known as ‘Dalda 13’ having started her career in journalism in the 1930s . Prior to the 1960s newsroom were 100% males whereas till the late 1980s , women reporters were barred from doing night duty which was the double edge disadvantage for the women .

There were days when journalism was considered to be a predominantly male domain. Serious issues are those where gender discrimination takes place while assigning stories to cover or changing beats in which they are very good at it .

We live in a country where women report on terror and politics and much more yet men don’t consider them as their equals .

Whereas recently the me too movement revealed that there are so many women journalist out there went through sexual harassment from colleagues and editors accusing them for unwanted touches , demands for sex, and discrimination of pornography .

Lately it came out that women journalist face risk of physical assault, rape, and even murder, threats. Social media platform is one of a major tool of online harassment where people sends abusive messages , comments ,Dismissive trolling, threatening messages . Rape and death threats and other forms of gendered abuse is directed when they express their opinions online. Probably we need to raise awareness about the online harassment and should take initiatives about how to tackle the online violence against women.

There should be gender sensitive approach to strengthening the safety of women in the workplace, and end the discrimination towards women’s and provide them education, employment and the equal opportunities. Also there should be gender equality as it stimulates economic growth which is important for the developing country.

Hello! This blog is by Asifa khan , Do not forget to comment down your views about the blog . Thanks!

‘Boys don’t cry’, ‘Boys will be boys’, ‘Pink is for girls and Blue is for boys. How many times have we heard these statements in our daily lives and passed it on as a norm? How many times have we normalized concerning behavior by young boys and termed it off as just ‘what boys usually do’? How many times have we appreciated a boy’s looks because he was muscular, rugged looking and ‘manly’ in the generalized sense? All these are the fibers which eventually forms into a root which becomes deeply ingrained in the minds of young boys and men.

Masculinity literally means ‘a set of roles, qualities, behaviors and attributes associated with boys and men. It is a social concept and develops from socialization; in the sense the ‘Society’ sows the seeds of this idea into young boys as they grow.

Masculinity itself is not toxic. It becomes toxic when the society tries to reinforce certain ‘rules’ as a norm on others. Toxic masculinity is when ‘men’ not allowed to act in a certain way because it might reduce the ‘manliness’ in them and make them less of a man than they already are. When a male is told not express his emotions or sentiments because it would make him ‘feminine’ or ‘less of a man.’ When a male is told to act strong and tough always (both in physical and emotional ways). When a male isn’t allowed to pay much attention to his looks because he must look ‘manly’, ‘rugged’ and must maintain a look of toughness; these are some ways toxic masculinity could be imposed on males.

Toxic masculinity, the name itself suggests how poisonous and contaminated it can become for every man who is forced to live in such a manner. It becomes not only harmful but also suffocating because of the pressure of the society; men cannot reveal their true feelings and suffer internally. This also gives rise to a lot of disorders like anxiety, depression and can be fatal.

Toxic masculinity is definitely not a new thing. It has been existing since centuries in various forms and practices. It is just that now those behaviors and psychological persuasions can be termed under noxious and hence originated the name ‘toxic masculinity’. But regardless masculinity cannot be termed as toxic and negative in every sense because there always many spheres of a particular topic.

On the other side, the rise of ‘soft masculinity’ and ‘metro sexuality’ is changing the perspective of men and masculinity in many senses.

Soft masculinity is a new way of masculinity which allows men to accept, appreciate and express themselves in any way that they like. It is the acceptance of ‘anima’ the unconscious feminine side present in a male. (According to Carl Jung’s school of analytical psychology as part of his theory of the collective unconscious). In the world of soft masculinity, a male (heterosexual/homosexual; regardless of the sexuality) is free to take care of his ‘beauty’ by using skincare, applying makeup, getting pedicures/manicures etc. to look good and presentable.

Here, doing all these things is not considered feminine because it’s just a man taking care of his appearance and style because he likes it and wants to look good. Metro sexuality is when men take extra care in dressing themselves and are fashionable. There is no questioning of what sexuality he belongs to.

The idea of soft masculinity and metro sexuality began from East Asian Countries like South Korea, Japan and China; where applying makeup for men and dressing fashionably is common for men and not considered feminine.

In India, Bollywood is the reason behind the rise in metro sexuality. Stars like Ranveer Singh, Hritik Roshan etc. who actively dress up and portray themselves as a metro sexual man of the century are appreciated. Also fashion designers like JJ Valaya, and Shantanu & Nikhil are bringing up new trends to normalize the act of dressing up as a man or metro sexuality.

Soft masculinity however is still not very relevant in India. The world of toxic masculinity is far too strong for this new world to overcome it so quickly. Yet new definitions of masculinity are on the rise through novels, documentaries and online videos. Slowly and gradually, it will eventually happen in India.

The difficult question with a tension so sharp to slice the air, hangs in for any male of this century is that, which path does he eventually choose to become a ‘man’. And does he ever come across the answer to the question – ‘How to be a man?’

This blog post is written by Anamika Chaudhuri. Constructive Criticisms and Feedback is always welcome.